How To Give Yourself Constructive Feedback (and why you should make self-feedback a regular practice)

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Self Feedback (NOT Self Criticism)

The big meeting, presentation or conversation just ended. 

Do any of these sound like you?

“That sucked.”
“I blew it.”

“They don’t get it.”
“NAILED IT”

Beating yourself up isn’t constructive. Even high-fiving yourself after a good meeting is a missed opportunity. 

Let’s look at the above for a moment:


“That sucked.”

“I blew it.”

Going instantly negative is a recipe for shutting down and also de-motivating yourself for the next several hours (or days, depending on how you’re wired). 

INSTEAD: 

Always take even 5 minutes to sit down and write out the answers to the list below. If possible, keep this in an Evernote, Notion, Google doc or journal (whatever your system) so you can review as a reminder on your next pitch prep)

“They don’t get it.”

Immediately rejecting a possible investor, a sales prospect, or for that matter, your consumer because they aren’t responding the way you want is tempting. Delicious righteousness feels so good to a stung ego. But it does nothing to move you forward. 

INSTEAD:

I’ve found some of the most irritating or “clueless” challenges to be the most useful.

Ask and write down:

  • What was valid? 

  • What did I learn from the conversation that I need to remember?

  • Could I have changed the direction? Added clarity? 


“NAILED IT”

Yeah! Enjoy the moment. Then reflect on why exactly while it’s still fresh.


INSTEAD:

Ask and write down:

  • How did that feel?

  • What went well? 

  • Where could go better next time?

  • What actions can I take to build on this?

  • What did I learn from the conversation that I need to remember?

  • How did I do well? How can I do that again?


And if you have a particular habit - like talking too fast, over-answering or dodging tough questions - check in on how you did on that. 


Lastly, take action on it. If a slide was unclear, fix it. If an answer was muddled, take 10 minutes and write out a better answer. 


Taking 5-15 minutes to check in and write it down will stop the thought spin and actually prepare you better next time.


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julie kucinski