When Triggered…

ZOOM IS YOUR BFF 

A recent meeting dropped me right back into my early ad days. Back then, some people considered being an arrogant, belittling jerk a sign of power.

He was not my client and it was not my call. The bonus? A re-education in managing your emotions in challenging situations. 

1 - Create distance 

I’m no Buddhist, but detachment is the goal here. Zoom is an ally because we can actually watch ourselves and the others. Being able to view my face, body language, helped me “unhook” emotionally.

2 - Observe

Detach from “What did they just say to me?!” and go into noting what is happening. “He’s getting emotional. He’s cutting us off. He’s bringing up old methodology.” As this guy was in turns dramatic, conciliatory and demeaning, I took note of it. Then….

3 - Respond strategically 

Rather than let my emotions run me, I looked at my own facial expressions and body language and recalibrated. I said less. I slowed down. This lets them spin themselves up, out or down. 

4 - Remain amused

I decided early on to see the absurdity of the situation and to watch this guy do his thing. More perspective. More detachment. 

5 - Take the wheel

We often feel like we just need to push forward. You don’t. I explained calmly I didn’t think the conversation would go anywhere. When this man kept commanding me to keep going, I just said no. Pleasantly, professionally, lightly but firmly.

Sometimes we feel like that one meeting, presentation, person, call is all or nothing. It almost never is. Choose your boundaries - but choose them.

Don’t let things happen to you. 

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